Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
