I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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