its not stalking. its research.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize