um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
