whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
