You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize