Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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