I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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