Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
