so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
