I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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