He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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