alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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