"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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