so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
