remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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