walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
