the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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