thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
