he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize