Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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