The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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