i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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