Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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