Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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