I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize