I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
