This is not my ceiling
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
