I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
