thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
