She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
