And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
