Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
