I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
