thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i think i just lost a toe
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