one two three fourrrrnication!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
