somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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