I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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