That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize