What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
