What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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