...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
