We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
