So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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