I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
