I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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