My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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