All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
