you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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