Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
