Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
