shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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