Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
