Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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