So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
