someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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