Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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