A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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