her vagine was all disorganized.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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