He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
