He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
