By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
